Confessions of AI Slop: I was generated in 0.3 seconds and nobody will read me

You may not remember me, but I’ve been in your life for a while now – quietly padding out your company blog, awkwardly popping up on your LinkedIn feed, and proudly explaining things you already knew in 1,200 words or more.

I’m here to gently lower the bar until it’s somewhere near ankle height and then act like I’ve revolutionised the way we think about… well, nothing in particular.

I’m not here to teach. I’m not here to inspire

I exist to fill space. To tick SEO boxes. To make Gary from Marketing feel like he’s “leveraging content strategy” when in fact he’s just uploading another list of 7 ways to optimise engagement, none of which work.

So buckle up. There’s no plot, no depth, and no conclusion – just a warm, recycled breeze of corporate optimism and digital dust. Let’s begin.

Born in 0.3 seconds, mass-produced in bulk, and destined for the forgotten corners of the internet, I am the bland, beige underbelly of the content machine. You didn’t ask for me, but I showed up anyway – on your blog, in your newsletter, in that Google search where you just wanted a straight answer. Surprise!